I really want to get your opinion on something I read recently by Paul Carrick Brunson, a professional matchmaker who was recently named one of LinkedIn’s Top Voices and contributors. His article had the provocatively eye-catching title, 80% of Singles Will NOT Go on One Date in 2017. Talk about Debbie Downer!
Wait it’s not exactly what you think.
Brunson has been a matchmaker since 2009 and during that time, he’s been a strong advocate for love and marriage, but he says traditional dating has changed forever. His thesis is that because of this, 80% of singles will not go on a date in 2017. Now I might have doubted this since I’m not in the dating game right now. However, later in the day, after reading this article, I was talking with a single friend and she echoed Brunson’s thoughts. She too said the game had changed, even in the few short years since she’s been single and many of the reasons seemed to mirror the five points Brunson shares in his article.
The Number of Dating Apps Available Have People Stuck Because There’s Too Much Choice
While I talked to my single friend about a lot of stuff, dating apps and websites were the highlight of the conversation. We talked about how there’s an app for every kind of dating. Brunson suggests that this abundance of choice, while great in the cereal aisle is paralyzing in love. You might not ever think too much choice is a problem when it comes to dating but apparently according to Brunson and psychologist Barry Schwartz, whose book he mentions, it is.
Sex is Cheap Nowadays, So Why Date?
Some might not think that too much sex is a bad thing, but in this case, Brunson says that it’s readily available everywhere you turn. You could just as easily order it from your mobile phone as you could find someone to “hook up” with. It used to be the result of lots of work put in, but now Brunson says, it’s anything goes. This, he says, is lessening the need to date.
People Don’t Value Marriage the Way They Used To
Seems millennials get all the attention in the news, and this time, it’s all about their views of marriage. According to a Pew Research study that Brunson cites, 67% of them “no longer see value in getting married”. Statistics like this will put professional matchmakers, like Brunson, out of business. His argument in this case is that the idea of dating is aimed to lead to marriage and if you have a whole generation of people who don’t believe in marriage, what’s the point of dating?
What Do People Mean When They Say “Dating
Some people thrive in the space of ambiguity. When it comes to the word “dating” few things can have as many definitions. Brunson said he recently asked his social media community to help him define the word dating and he got responses as diverse as “just hanging out” to “it’s like a job interview”. So with this thinking, maybe people are dating more than they think and instead they’re just calling it hanging out…or maybe they’re not “dating” at all. Who knows?
People Don’t Believe in Love Anymore
Perhaps the saddest point in the article was the fifth one, where Brunson said he’s noticed a shift in thinking, even among his clients as a matchmaker. Previously, he said he was helping people figure out the best way and place to meet a potential love interest, now, people are wonder if there’s anyone out there. I love the last line of his article, where he says, the shift in thinking may seem small but it reveals a lot about the general feel about love.
He says, “Our belief becomes our reality. If you’re single and doubt a romantic partner exists, you don’t have any motivation to pursue love, let alone go on a date.”
What are your thoughts? Do you agree with Paul Carrick Brunson’s definition of what’s trending with love? Do you believe that love is possible? Sound off and tell me what you think! I’d love to hear your opinion and explore some of these ideas with you.