I’ll be the first to admit that reading an article that tells me 80% of singles will go dateless this year almost sent me to the nearest pet shelter, looking for some cats to keep me company for all of 2017. But before I got too comfortable with the idea of becoming a spinster, I realized a couple of things: (1) I’m not a fan of cats—like not at all. (2) I’m way too cute to be sitting around wearing rollers and a bathrobe on a Saturday night. In other words, this will NOT be my life. And it won’t be yours either!
Was Patrick Brunson right in stating that dating has changed over the past few years? Absolutely! In fact, dating is TOTALLY now different than it was just two years ago. Even among Christians sex, marriage, and love are not as sacred to some as they used to be. This reality can make the dating process more difficult. But it doesn’t make dating impossible.
Here are a few tips to help ensure that you’re not dateless in 2017.
- Be social. The best way to meet people is to be where people are. Go to museum nights, join meetup groups, attend more community and church events. And don’t be afraid to go alone. I used to hate doing things by myself, until I noticed that flying solo every now and then made it easier for me to connect with new people, and even made guys less scared to talk to me.
- Be willing to come of your comfort zone. There’s a saying that goes “If you’re gonna get what you never got, you’ve gotta do something that you’ve never done.” Coming out of your comfort zone isn’t always the easiest thing to do, but it can be extremely rewarding. Go ahead. Sign up for a dating app/website, sit in a different spot at church this weekend, be open to a friend introducing you to someone new. And, if you’re bold enough, initiate a conversation with someone you find attractive. Remember, the person we want may not come in the way that we think they will.
- Be confident. Brunson’s article talks about the fact that there are so many options out there that people have difficulty making a choice. This may be so, but just because there is an abundance of options doesn’t mean you won’t be chosen, or that you’ll never be able to choose. Believe that you are the right choice for someone. And walk with that confidence. Confidence will always be attractive!
One of the things that I’ve observe through the dating process is that mindset is everything. It will affect the way we behave and who we attract. If you walk into this year believing that you will not be going out on any dates, you are positioning yourself to be dateless in 2017. But if you walk into this year with a positive mindset and open to new possibilities, you are positioning yourself to attract new things—maybe even a date or two!
Contributed by Susan Caleb of He’s Just that Into You.